i’d been sober about 6 months and was experiencing anger. its pretty common. i saw a doctor about my blood pressure and mentioned the sobriety, the anger. she told me about a pill that might help. lexapro. she said maybe my brain wasnt getting enough seratonin, something along those lines, and that i should take this 20 mg pill. i did.
i mellowed right out. it was cool. i gained about 30 lbs. this is the price you pay i guess. that was 5 years ago.
about a year ago i began cutting the pills in half. my wife looked on in horror. she and my mother has secret conferences.
it all worked out.
i should mention that i saw another doctor who asked me why i was on anti depressants. i didnt know i was. i didnt know how difficult and dangerous it could be to quit taking them.
anyway….a couple weeks ago i began drinking again over some emotional pain that i was having. it just went on too long. i figured since i was drinking again, i could stop taking the lexapro.
yesterday i woke up with a serious hangover and a devastating case of depression to boot.
i dumped out the booze this morning. it always ends with dumping it out. finishing the bottle never ends it for me.
i took a 20 mg lexapro just now. i figured its a bad time to go off the reservation. i almost called the mental health clinic this afternoon.
i’m not of of those maniac depressives. just a run of the mill alcoholic that got mixed up with (ssri)’s? anti depressant seratonin reuptake inhibitors. and booze. and speed years ago. and an alcoholic web that has me trapped like a fly. dont get me wrong. i’ve been happy for a good portion of the last 5 years. just not lately. maybe today is my new sobriety date.
wouldnt that be something? i’m gonna get off this lexapro too.
just wait.
