hell 4 (i’ll get back to 3)

i demand a purpose. i will invent facts to support the fact that i am here for a purpose, i am not a series of chemical reactions that simply exists to reproduce. maybe fruit flies fit that description, but i’m gonna need a prescription if it turns out i was not created for some divine purpose.
 all the climate and storms and eve eating that apple what is the heart of hearts of what god wants me to do he is here to save me he created me..a sinner so that he might ave my soul thank you jesus. where would i be if you hadnt created me and then saved me. thank you jesus.
 someone show me the best window to jump out of.
i dont waant to wake up alive, covered in smegma.

hell

“torment” he said.
“you will be tormented for eternity.”
  i was astounded. “god has nothing better to do than torture me for eternity? what about juvenile diabetes?”
  his face got dark with anger “GET SERIOUS”.
  “I AM SERIOUS. MY WIFE WORKS WITH SICK CHILDREN WHO WON’T SEE THEIR SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY!  what kind of god is that?”

a call from an old friend

he said i never was his friend. no one from the tenth grade had treated him well. he was in the lifeboat that jesus provided.  he was selling something. my liver has seven pockets that contain dead parasites and i need epsom salt and olive oil and grapefruit juice and i will poop pellets from my liver and i will live longer and his diabetes went away. i told him i was a confirmed athiest. confirmed. i went to athiest class the way some folks take karate. his giggle had a hysterical quality and we said goodbye. he just wanted me to understand that he knew we were never really friends and that jesus would save me and that i needed to join the radio shack club that would dissolve the parasites in my liver.
                    jesus help me. i never knew.