just keep typing

you keep me.
you keep me typing never a false move.
never a misunderstood motive.
every response appropriate.
i am addicted
addicted addicted to humanity.
you should see my grandson running along side the car as i arrive.
see him meeting mickey mouse.
see him getting dirty and getting me dirty
you sumbitch.
he can say “sumbitch”.
he crawls under his tricycle
with a phillips screwdriver and say’s (perfectly enunciated) “piece OF SHIT.”
YOU SHOULD SEE and yes
i’m there

i know dead people

i used to wonder what it would be like to know a dead person.
all the playboy bunnies were older then.
i did not masturbate to pictures of naked women till later.
it was penthouse. a woman was bent over.
i tore scars into my dick over that one.
my initial masturbation phase was dry and violent.
i discovered the instruction pamphlet for tampons.
i used that before penthouse.
the silhouette of a woman inserting a tampon was as erotic as anything  i’d seen.
timing is all and everything.
lately i dream of crippled women. shaved clams. old women with hair died jet black.
and then.. dead people. people pariah. dont bring them here.
but wait now he’s dead.
oh yes we loved him. lets have a service. lets lionize him.
what have we learned?
let us worship the memory
of the artist formerly know
as asshole.

bent typing

 teasing out the thoughts. fear of writing has crippled the honesty. fear of honesty crippled the typer.
fear of tags, categories, typing errors and misspelled words.
fear my wife will look at my blog.
merlot. anew.
the deal is,
a couple weeks ago me and the drunken carpenter got together with a four track, a guitar, a harmonica and a box of burgundy.
i hadnt touched wine in over 6 years.
the awful truth is i enjoyed myself immensely.
its a fantasy that will feed the insanity for years to come.
i dont play any instruments. i sang and improvised words to the carpenters’ blues inflected jazz. something about crawling around, searching for my knees.
drinking excessively raises my blood pressure. thanks to the blood pressure cup i bought, i now monitor my bp daily and now i know when its high just from the way i feel.
  i lost 3 friends this year. lost them to insanity.
i’m holed up today. drinking merlot. red wine. watching factotem.  doesntseemwasted.